Thursday, 18 June 2015

the making of me in TV form

Today the 18th of June is Autistic Pride day. As someone with Dyspraxia which I have heard is on the spectrum and sometimes isn't which is confusing when you have your psych teacher* in front of the whole class diagnose you as autistic when your dyspraxic so who flipping knows what the hell is wrong with me, I don't!

So today I have decided to do a post about the two characters that have defined me not any real reason just because it seems like enough for now.

Firstly my Dyspraxic king: Dr John Dorian
photo credit: tumblr

John Dorian was what my young dyspraxic self viewed as just like me. He was kinda screwy just like me. He was clumsy, just like me. He tried super hard to fit in but kinda didn't just like me. He daydreamed all the time just like me and he was crap at reading social signals.  In short he was a smarter me and in my young mind proof that I could be clever too. Fast forward to now and to me he is Dyspraxic (or whatever the heck I am) and I will fight anyone ANYONE who tells me otherwise. ANYONE.

Who Everyone Saw me As: Sheldon Cooper the traitor

At the same time that in my head I was like girl J.D the whole of school had seen some other character in the way I acted. In the way I didn't like looking in peoples eyes, in the fact I liked my space and no one else could sit there to them I was Sheldon Cooper. That wasn't too bad I know that now but then it hit me like a bag of bricks. Sheldon is a joke version of me and all the others like me. We laugh when he's uncomfortable and it makes me wanna vomit. Because when people started calling me Sheldon I thought that was great, I thought it was nice, I thought I finally belonged somewhere but instead they were calling me it because I was a joke to them. To make matters worse the writers have said they'd never make Sheldon Cooper actually autistic (or whatever the hell I am) because it would be too dark for a comedy show lets hope one day they learn to stick that idea up their backsides and smoke it because it really really upsets me.

you see these are the main two that ended up defining me you may realise both of them are guys but because media is crap there wasn't much else out there for me.

There are tons of other characters in this list. TONS both Sherlocks (RDJ and BC) (BC was a particular taunt at school that I was like a stupid Sherlock) (RDJ was so much cooler and more relatable. Loki when he smashed that glass in thor 2 and he was hiding behind a magic wall and beneath it the room was trashed and he was bleeding. Later on there was Tina Belcher and Abed Nadir and Will Graham but back then it was these two. Oh and lets not forget the year I wanted to be a pirate because I thought i'd fit in better on the black pearl.

So I wanted to round off with something about how media needs to change but I think that is fricking obvious from this post.

*really happened. She decided to do a load of real autism tests on us to show how autism tests work. I failed every single one when everyone else got it all right. We did some test called the Sally Anne thingy and everyone shouted out the "correct answer" and I gave the wrong one. In front of everyone. Yeah that was fun 10/10 would not recommend that total humiliation.
It pretty much was like this

 but hey it's cool because now i'm stuck in a constant thought loop of i failed those as well as being dyspraxia but the hell am I? if you have answers please god let me know

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